This is how you should travel: on the bus down Müllerstrasse towards the Hauptbahnhof through a golden Berlin almost-spring morning, with the TV tower glistening through the haze of the early day. At the station you will get on the grey-red train from Austria and soon roll past the fields and woods and moors and lakes of Brandenburg and Saxonia and grey depressing towns named Heideblick and Elsterwalde. You will drive through the hills of the Elbe valley dotted with castles and dilapidated shacks and pensioners walking their sausage dogs. At one point there will be a deer running parallel with your train window for a while, and you will curse nature for being so pathetic and corny.